Beautiful Sunset, Pantai Remis 24/9/09

Location : Pantai Remis, Kapar. 17 miles from Klang.

Time : 5.30 - 7.30 pm.

Sunset : 7.10 pm

530pm. Midday sun still at scorching at full blast

Cockle shells dominate the entire beach vista

Hermit crab hideout during lowtide

Granite rock formations littering the beach

Lone cockle shell soaking up the evening sun

Sillouette of a lone picnic-er

My personal favorite

650pm. The evening sun lies over the horizon, basking the shore with a golden hue

Magnificent sunset

Cargo ship in the distant horizon

Colours of the cosmos

700pm. Minutes to sundown

710pm. Sunset

Looking forward to a new day....

Narcissistic Narcissus

I use to question myself,


Who am I?

Is this the right career path?

Is this the life I look forward to?

Is this the right choice?

Is she The One?


God forbid, most of these questions have been met with a relative 'Yes', most of the time.

So there.

Experimenting with Bulb exposure settings and light photography.......


But not this.

Now I'm really questioning the stuff I do in my free time.


Damn.


I need to get a life.

Selamat Hari Raya

Lemang (Bamboo rice)

Hari Raya day 1.

On call ward 7B.

3 patients.

Got time for makan....

Drove out to a nearby roadside lemang stall.....

Mother and daughter running the little makeshift stall with rows of lemang roasting over an open fire.

Lemangs roasting over open fire

' Selamat Hari Raya Makcik.....lemang kasi satu.....rendang ayam sebungkus yer....'

'Ok kejap ye dik....'

'Makcik tak Raya ke....? Kerja pulak hari ni.....'

'........cari duit penting dik...ade duit hari-hari tu Raya.....'

'........'

Lemang Makcik at work

She handed me my lemang with a smile.

Not a single trace of resentment on her face, having to sweat and work on what was supposed to be a once-in-a-year family holiday.....

reignite the flame within...

I guess it's passion that keeps the spirit alive. In her case, a passion for a better living.....

Where's my passion?

Maybe I should just set up stall and sell lemang instead.





Maybe not.



I'll sell Bah Kut Teh.

Supply. Demand. Life

The harmony of existence....

Supply and Demand.

Give and Take.

Yin and Yang.

Life hangs in equilibrium.

Upset either way, and life is plunged into chaos.



A hospital full of patients without adequate doctors.......not a good sight.

Likewise, a hospital full of doctors but with no patients.....

Loss of equilibrium? Lack of balance? Chaos?

Who am I to judge.....


I just want to get the job done.

Awakening. Realization II

It was a rude awakening; no gradual realization this time.

Being caught in total surprise; the cruel reality crashing down on what's left of a battered and broken spirit, like a malignant plague decimating every tiny shred of dignity and pride remaining in this hollow soul.

Dignity? Pride?

There is no dignity in losing. There is no pride in being a fool.


I didn't realize it the first time.

I guess I'm just twice as blind now.

Don't ask me when did it begin. Don't tell me when it began.

Just, don't.


I didn't see it coming.

I thought I'd figure it out.

I thought I'd move on.

Apparently, you already did, without me.


Everything is lost.

Everything we had, and would have. Lost.


Nothing has changed.

Lies, remain lies.

And the fool, remains a fool.

His ignorance and gullibility, mocking his very existence in this world.


It wasn't something I did.

It wasn't somthing I should have done, or something I could have done.

It wasn't even anything I would have done.

It was never even about me, in the first place.

It was about Him. All this while.

I was just a sloppy second.

Stop the narcissism. Stop this foolish self-centredness.

Stop.


I'm tired of lying to myself, that seven is more than just a mere number.

That there was actually a commitment

a promise

a future behind it.


I'm tired of looking for answers.

The best answer would be, there isn't one at all.

There is no explanation. There is no reason.

The last flight of hope has departed

with me stranded on this god forsaken platform.

I'm lost.

And I'll never find my way back again.


The irony of it

mustering the courage to continue this life like a sick joke

only to realise

all this while

the joke is on me.

Ramblings of a Stuffed mind

OOOPPHHHH.....
full.....
too full....!!!!
the price for being a glutton
think I just busted a button
steamboat after nasi lemak
after meehoon
after roti john
I need Eno stat
else I'ma gonna start
barfing like a loose cannon


The glass is overflowing today.

Ramblings of a Za-Dou mind

Za dou
Oh zadou
Done my work and some more
what else would you want of me?
dress in drag and dance the hulla?
ok la
sorry la
so my bad la
whatever la
I don't give a rat's @$$ kaaap~
cos in a month it's gonna be done
my freedom beckons


The glass is Za Dou today.